December 29, 2012 by misterblank22
Now that everyone is safely out of their bomb shelters we can all mourn together that the world did not end. States did not invade other states and no aliens came from space to take us to their planet. No nothing out of the norm even happened this December leaving everyone that had foil on their heads relieved or wrapping their heads even tighter. The upside to this “bad news” is that now we can all theorize on how the world will end next year, could it be intelligent televisions that turn children into mumbling zombies or vegetables that turn us into mumbling zombies, we’ve got an entire year to make something up and it will most likely involve zombies.
What amazed me this year was that the past five years were composed of doomsday hype from crazed theorists. This year was filled with those same doomsday theorists saying “Well, maybe we were wrong, but still we could all die.” Waking up the next day felt slightly depressing since we all put on our regular shoes and went on with our regular lives, no armor on, no guns in hand and no mutated people to run over as we drove. We could have used some excitement in our lives that would send a bolt of energy through us, maybe not an end of the world scenario but maybe a quick virus to give us a sense of thrill. But no, nothing happened, there was no need to bring out my ninja sword and the metal armor I crafted, the plus side is that I can now wear it to comic con next year dressed as Zero from Borderlands 2.
The doomsday has always been feared by the public and can even drive some to madness but it always causes some to get extremely excited. This can be blamed on our basic animal instinct and simple boredom; humans crave change whether that is a fun road trip to an all out apocalypse, the goal is that it’s different. Your skills can also be put to the test in a post apocalyptic world. In your mind you feel you’ll be able to do those back flips you saw Neo do so many years ago in The Matrix but once you fall on your leg and wound yourself reality would kick in. You’d see the end of happiness as you once knew it and at that moment that dead-end job wouldn’t seem so bad and those once dreary blank walls of your apartment would feel so warm. But since you felt like flipping around like Neo you broke your leg and the zombies are now closing in ready to turn you into a brain-dead version of yourself with a strange appetite for brains.
Please, can I just go to work…
Sometimes we get lost in hating our present life so much that we’d rather have any life other than the one we have. But once that new life takes effect you’ll realize that your old one was much better and did not deserve all of the hate that it got from you. This is a fact because being a zombie or living in a radio tower as the sun dies isn’t any better than a dying relationship or a horrible job.